Lately, every morning I have to remind myself that The King Eats First.
I’ve spent the majority of my life pleasing others. I have always been the rebellious one, but on the flip side I am the nurturer, the caregiver, the mama bear to everyone.
By nature, I want to take care of people. Hell, I spent the majority of my late teens and 20’s trying to fix people or situations, help them be better, be there for them…give give give, never taking, never asking for anything in return.
I spent a lot of years feeling battered, broken down. Feeling extremely lonely. But I never said anything. I just pushed through, did what I had to do, and plastered on a smile every step of the way.
Each time I would eventually get fed up, speak up, and the situation would eventually come to a breaking point.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I had to speak up. I had to say exactly what I wanted if I ever expected to actually get it.
You see, I’ve always been really good at providing myself EXACTLY what I wanted, BUT let’s be honest here.. Sometimes you just want someone else to give to you too. And that’s something that was really hard for me to admit.. That I actually wanted something from someone else..I would always seem to set no expectation at all and in turn would set myself up for exactly that, no give.
A few weeks ago I was in a room full of people who are all leveling up in their lives, all struggling in their own ways too, and I was reminded that the FUCKING KING EATS FIRST. Something that instantly brought tears to my eyes.
What does that mean? It means that regardless of how much you love something or someone, if it’s not serving you, you have to let it go or it will just hold you back. It means that you have to take care of YOU and stay true to that vision of a life that you truly want to create. And if other people don’t want to be a part of it, sure….. It totally sucks, but you can’t control what other people do or what other people choose for themselves.
The only thing you can control is you.
So you have two choices…. You can sit in a grey area, growing, expanding, but trying to pull someone along with you that may not really want to be on that ride…. OR You can decide to focus on the one that you actually CAN control which is YOU.
And you can stand in your strength, stand in your truth, and stand firm in exactly what you want.. Regardless of what that may mean for who stays and who goes.
“The King Eats First”
(and sometimes that King is really a Queen 😉 )
I wanted to share this with you because it’s not easy. It’s not pretty and in all honesty, no one wants to talk about it.
Some may call it selfish. Some may say it’s arrogant or rude. But those people are probably the ones that are stuck in a place that will never allow them to reach their true potential.
Those people just don’t get it…
And that’s OKAY.
We’re different. You know it. I know it.
We’re those people who can’t ignore that vision. We’re those people who want to build a fucking empire and we want to do it in our own unique way. We’re different because we make the tough choices. We do the hard work. We stay dedicated to our hearts and our dreams and we make shit happen.
A lot of what I write is just my personal journal. The words out of my head that I put down on paper to reaffirm my realities, reaffirm my mission in life. I share them with you because I know that there may be someone out there that feels the same way I do.. But thinks that they are the only one who does.
So if you read this and can relate, know that you are not alone. Know that you are NOT selfish or arrogant for feeding yourself first or for choosing to stay true to yourself over conforming in order to make someone else feel content.
Afterall, I wholeheartedly believe that you must first be fully satisfied and happy with yourself BEFORE you can ever be a fully contributing, supportive, constructive partner in a relationship.
So remember… you can not pour from an empty cup. And the fucking king eats first.