FINDING A MENTOR OR COACH TO INVEST IN

“Hire someone who has built what you want”.

You’ve heard this before, yes?
You’ve maybe even followed this as a rule of thumb for finding a mentor or coach to invest in as a way to build whatever it is that you’re wanting to create.
Maybe you’ve also had this rule stop you from ever “finding the right person” too….

This may come as a shock but I believe THIS ADVICE IS FUCKING GARBAGE.

And here’s why… (hear me out)

What I’ve learned (from both working with coaches like this in the past and from my own business experience) is that too many people try to teach you something as if YOUR circumstances match theirs. As if you’re in the exact same situation as they were in when their business started to pick up or their life started to shift for the better and that my friend is a dangerous place to teach from.

Why? Because it costs people a lot of time and money.

What REALLY hurts my heart is how much it causes someone to beat themselves up for not getting the same results as someone else did….. Ya know, someone who was in a not even close to comparable situation as them in the first place? Yeah I know.. Doesn’t make sense now that you think about it does it?

But that’s what happens. The thing that someone who has built something that we want to have comes and tells us “should work” for us, then doesn’t provide the same result. Of course our brains think that we must have done something wrong, even if you actually did everything 100% fully the way you were instructed to do.

Are you seeing what I mean here, yet?

Okay- so now what? If this advice to hire someone who has built what you want is garbage then what the hell should you do now? OR if you already took that route and are feeling stuck, then also..now what?

Well first of all, every experience we have allows us space to LEARN. There are ALWAYS pieces of valuable information you can pull from anything you do, especially a coaching/mentoring experience like I’m describing here. So I welcome you to focus on that. Maybe even pull out a piece of paper and write out the things that you took away from it and then leave any of the negative parts behind.

Secondly, you just look deeper before you let someone become your guide. Ask better questions. Don’t just go off the hype or the shiny surface that you’re seeing online. Ask for references. Check out the way the person shows up CONSISTENTLY, does it match?
And remember that a good Coach will always want to get very clear about where you are right now, not just talk about where you’re wanting to go. Because where you want to go doesn’t mean shit if we can’t get clear about our starting point and what we’re currently working with. No plan can be created without that clarity.

I hope this was helpful and can help you feel better about your own decisions when it comes to bringing someone into your life or business intimately enough to influence not only your practices but your state of mind and believe in yourself.

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