I’ve noticed that I tend to write things a few days later than most. I used to think that meant I wasn’t planning ahead enough or once I missed the “day” then it would be stupid to post about the holiday or event. (Big Reflection–Dive In with me below)
The truth is, I don’t write about them before because I haven’t experienced them yet. I don’t know how I’ll feel or how it will go until it’s actually happened.
Also, I’m pleased to realize that it’s also because I’m actually freaking present during holidays and events or hangouts so typing about it doesn’t even cross my mind. Not even the morning of or evening after usually either. And that is something I’m super grateful for.
So here it comes friends, my post about 2020.
I’ve been reflecting on the year for a long time honestly… well I reflect daily and look back weekly, month as part of my routine to stay clear and present so to put an entire year of reflections into one post is not going to happen.
There has been a lot of joy this year, a lot of perspective shifts, a lot of sinking deeper into my roots and own personal growth, a renewed sense of importance for time spent with the people I love, and even more slow down (which is something I’ve been working on for two years so gladly welcomed a new level of that).
Collectively, we’ve lost a lot. There has been grief for the entirety, whether you want to recognize it at all.
There was a rise up of “we’re in it together” -ness that we hadn’t seen since 9/11 and my heart was beaming as the world came together for while there together and we were all just HUMANS.
I’ve been disappointed by the human race and unexplainably grateful for them at the same time. We’ve seen the best in our neighbors and we’ve seen the worst in them this year.
Some people have learned and some have retreated.
Everyone has done what they’ve done and the year changing doesn’t really matter. The magnifying glass has been placed where it never was before and will continue to do that.
We were reminded that we can control what happens in OUR home and within ourselves and that truly is where our focus should always lie first.
Me?
Well, I had the best garden I could have imagined.
I took a bigger, deeper leap into sustainable living.
I’ve read a lot more books than last year.
I’ve meditated for over 250 hours.
I’ve learned more about my body than I knew there was to learn.
My relationship with the moon got even more intimate.
I became a crazy plant mom and I’m not mad about it.
I made jam.
I stopped wasting food.
Instead of hoarding, I chose to make meals and fill my freezer with nutritious for any time.
I truly felt bountiful and I deeply felt sorrow.
I lost someone I loved dearly.
I cried with my family in a room wearing masks because my Aunt deserved to be honored in that way.
I beat Tony in Monopoly after years of him boasting about being the champ. 
I planned an entire trip to spend a month in Canada and had to cancel it.
I paid off all of my debt.
I helped people through virtual life and everything that comes along with it because I’m an old pro at this.
I held the hand of clients as they spent countless hours doing whatever they could to make sure their employees still had food on their table.
I fell so deeply and passionately in love with myself.
I bought everything you could possibly need to make candles and never made them.
I filled two journals.
I marched with six thousand people on the streets of our city and was changed forever.
I learned more about the real true depth of the history of this country than I knew before.
I created a network of my own completely dedicated to my mission and intentional living.
I started healing my body with herb medicine.
I hugged one of my best friends for the first time in three years.
I looked into the eyes of one of the greatest teachers I’ve ever known and felt him in a way that changed my life.
I stood on the beach in 20-degree weather staring at the Atlantic Ocean and all of his magical power in a part of the country I’d only dreamt of visiting.
I met the guide I had been searching for and made a soul commitment to walk beside her and learn all that this earth, my bones, flesh, and the moor has to offer.
I started writing a book (and am almost done!)
I cried (a lot).
I stood up for something big.
I laughed (a lot).
I had tough conversations.
I ended lifelong relationships.
I renewed lost relationships.
I did ritual. A lot of ritual.
Overall, I learned. I loved. I hermited. I expanded.
I enjoyed life while staying humble in the reality that I am exceptionally privileged and ultimately blessed.
2020, I’m grateful for you. And in a lot of ways, I believe you’re exactly what the world needed. Thank you for the push we all needed into this next chapter.